How to Be the Best Mom Friend This Year

By Shannon Gurnee
In Friends
February 11, 2021
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Today, on Redhead Mom, I’m sharing a partnered guest post about How to Be the Best Mom Friend This Year.

 Moms friends

Some friends you’ve known since high school, others you met just last month at the gym. Regardless of how many friends you have, at least one is bound to become a parent. Motherhood changes a person’s life, which directly impacts friends and family.

It can be challenging to navigate relationship changes — especially if you have different parenting styles. Yet, with a bit of determination and positivity, you can overcome these changes to be the best mom friend possible. 

Here are six qualities you can demonstrate to reach your friendship goal this year.

1. Be Present and Dependable

Moms need people they can rely on in times of need. If you want to be a good friend, aim to be present when hanging out together. Your mom friend is probably very busy, so last-minute cancelations have a more significant impact on her time. This is especially true if you are doing her a favor. Women need reliable support networks — as her friend, you can be a part of this group, but only if you will be available. 

If you have a hectic schedule of your own, then be upfront about your commitments and priorities. Your family also needs your support, but it’s possible to be a good friend and parent simultaneously.

2. Educate Yourself 

It’s difficult to relate when you have no experience or prior knowledge of a situation. Take the time to educate yourself before jumping to conclusions or offering advice. Moms experience their fair share of challenges and struggles. To give them the support they need, research their position.

Common challenges experienced by mothers can include: 

  • Postpartum depression
  • Self-doubt
  • Anxiety
  • Lack of support
  • Inexperience parenting

 

Keep in mind some challenges may be unrelated to parenting. They could be struggling with an addiction, mental illness or health problem. Asking questions and doing research will help you relate and offer assistance more effectively. Even as a parent yourself, your experience may be different than hers, so keep an open mind and only offer advice if asked.

3. Demonstrate Flexibility

Your mom friend’s schedule is no longer her own. She now needs to consider the needs of her family. This change is two-fold, her days will have more restrictions, and she may have to cancel at the last minute. As her friend, try to demonstrate your flexibility whenever possible. Simplify the process by offering to visit her at home. This flexibility will make it easier for her to make an effort without being overwhelmed.

Besides traveling flexibility, the greatest gift you can give is understanding. If her babysitter cancels or her child gets sick, do not be upset or angry. These things are beyond her control, and her family has to be her highest priority. Remember that if the situation were reversed, you would appreciate the free pass too. 

If possible, schedule a playdate with the kids in a mutually agreeable location. That way, babysitters are out of the picture, and you can hang together while keeping an eye on the kiddos.

4. Become Comfortable With Silence

It’s OK to not always have the answers for your friend. Some parental difficulties are unique to the individual, and you may not have experienced the same situation. More importantly, sometimes your friend isn’t looking for advice. Moms need a chance to rant and express their emotions to other adults, so practice being silent.

As a good listener, you’ll encourage her to express the problematic thoughts on her mind. In many ways, your silence will be an answer to her questions because she’ll be listening to her own words and emotions. She’ll recognize your trustworthy nature and appreciate a judgment-free zone.

5. Ask Deep Questions

Your mom friend may want to tell you every detail about their baby. While this may not hold your interest, it’s likely a phase that will diminish over time. As she relaxes into her role as a mother, begin asking deeper questions. As her friend, you can nudge her towards other passions and interests. It’s easy for mothers to lose their identity, but she’ll find a positive balance in her life with your help.

6. Lend a Helping Hand

As a mom friend, remember to lend a helping hand without your best friend asking. Come over with food, help with chores while visiting and suggest babysitting when it looks like she needs a break. Every little thing helps a busy mom, and your actions will mean more than words can describe. Your friendship will blossom as you build this support system, and respect for one another will grow.

Try Your Best

Being a mom friend may be challenging at times, but you’ll begin to find balance in your new relationship dynamic with these six methods. If you try your best and keep a positive attitude, your friend will appreciate your effort. As a fellow parent, you understand the ups and downs involved with raising a family, so give your friendship some wiggle room and enjoy those special moments you have together.

About Has 1948 Posts

Shannon Gurnee is the author of Redhead Mom formerly "The Mommy-Files", a national blog with a loyal following. She has a Bachelor's Degree in Marriage, Family, and Human Development with a Minor in Business Management. Shannon and her husband, Frank, have a large family with 6 awesome kids and love living on the Central Coast near San Luis Obispo, California, as well as traveling around the world. A full-time Social Media and Professional Blogger, Shannon also serves as a National Brand Ambassador for many well-known companies. Her blog focuses on motherhood, family fun activities, traveling, fashion, beauty, technology, wedding ideas and recipes while providing professional opinions on products, performances, restaurants, and a variety of businesses.

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