Joke of the Day

By Shannon Gosney
In Joke of the Day
August 10, 2010
4 Comments
1083 Views

USEFUL WORK PHRASES

1. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

2. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.

3. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.

4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t care.

6. I like you. You remind me of when I was youngΒ and stupid.

7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

8. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.

9. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

11. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot ofΒ  Karma to burn off.

12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties areΒ largely ceremonial.

13. No, my powers can only be used for good.

14. How about never? Is never good for you?

15. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

16. You sound reasonable. Time to up my medication.

17. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.

18. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message .

19. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.

20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

21. My toys! My toys! I can’t do this job without my toys!

22. It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.

23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

24. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

25. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

26. Someday, we’ll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Joke courtesy of AJokeADay.com.

About Has 4152 Posts

Shannon Gurnee is the author of RedheadMom formerly "The Mommy-Files", a national blog with a loyal following. She has a Bachelor's Degree in Marriage, Family, and Human Development with a Minor in Business Management. Shannon and her husband, Frank, have a large family with 6 awesome kids and love living on the Central Coast near San Luis Obispo, California, as well as traveling around the world. A full-time Social Media and Professional Blogger, Shannon also serves as a National Brand Ambassador for many well-known companies. Her blog focuses on motherhood, family fun activities, traveling, fashion, beauty, technology, wedding ideas and recipes while providing professional opinions on products, performances, restaurants, and a variety of businesses.

4 Responses to “Joke of the Day”

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jen & Matt, Planet Mommy. Planet Mommy said: The Mommy-Files: Joke of the Day http://planetmommy.org/e594e […]

  2. Thank you for the amusement! My personal favorite is…22. I should make it my motto! ;oP

  3. Lauralee Hensley says:

    I truly have heard a consultant say that they didn’t work here they were just a consultant once.

  4. I love numbers 6, 7, and 8… 15 is really good, too. And #25 is priceless!
    Thanks for making me laugh… πŸ™‚

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