Then and Now…How Motherhood Changed Me
Before I had kids, I thought I knew everything there was to know about parenting – boy was I wrong! I’d become easily irritated by kids screaming in the grocery store. Or do you remember the kid on “A League of Their Own” when he ran through the aisle with the candy lollipop hitting everyone in the head. I thought to myself – why can’t that mom control her kid? LOL Who’d have ever thought the guy at Blockbuster would think the same of my kids grabbing DVDs off the shelf? LOL
I had no idea how filled with love and concern for my child’s well being I would be the first time I held my baby. I remember vividly, with each child, holding them in my arms and looking into their beautiful faces. I counted all of their fingers and toes, and then looked at each one’s ears, nose, and head to make sure everything looked good. I remember being amazed at how beautiful they were.
I remember being so afraid of taking care of a baby. I couldn’t keep a house plant alive….what was I going to do with a baby? As soon as I saw my baby, I KNEW I could do it. I knew how to breast feed (and I’d never done that before). I instructed friends and family on how to hold my baby or to wash their hands before touching my baby – and doing so with confidence.
Now, instead of being annoyed by the screaming child in the store, I feel immediate empathy for the parent looking after the screaming child. I know what it feels like to try and keep your child calm for 2 more aisles of groceries or 3 more fruits. I know what it feels like to try and gather your children in a store and they all go off in different directions like ping pong balls.
I now understand the pain felt when my child says he doesn’t like me or hates me. I’ve been fortunate so far to experience that a minimal number of times. I had no idea how much it would hurt to hear my child say that.
On the other hand, I now know how amazing and precious it is to hear my children say they love me, and that I’m a good cook, or that I’m a great mom. Sorry, tearing up now. Aaahhh…..ok fanning my face – lol!
Motherhood has changed me and I have the stretchmarks to prove it. I am not a perfect mom and am not even close. I mess up somehow every day. Whether it’s a late lunch, yelling when I get mad, spending too much time on my blog…I mess up. However, I’ve learned that messing up is what makes me work hard to being a better mom. My point is…I am not a perfect mom. I will mess up. I will learn and try again. Isn’t that the point of life? To learn and better ourselves the best we can?
If you are feeling overwhelmed as a mom, you are not alone. If you feel like you are constantly failing as a mom, you are not alone. Motherhood changes us and will continue to change us until we pass on to the next life.
Hugs to everyone (mothers and non-mothers alike)!!!