My So-Called “Perfect” Life

By Shannon Gosney
In Blogging Randomness
June 24, 2010

The other day, I had a friend on Facebook comment on a status update that I posted.  She said that online, it seemed like my life was so perfect.  I have to tell you that I gasped at her comment.  Do I really come across to my readers as having a perfect life?  If so, I have become one of those bloggers I spite!

I do not have a “perfect” life.  In fact, I haven’t shared a lot of my personal life online over the past few months because of personal challenges I’ve been facing.  After 10 years of marriage (11 1/2 years of knowing him), I am going through a divorce.  It was my choice to end it…for reasons I won’t discuss on my blog.  I know that some of you may be astonished by this and I may even lose readers because of it, but this is REAL life. 

I am still a stay-at-home mom (for the time being) and I still have my 3 beautiful boys, but life’s journey has changed some.  As a child of divorced parents, I know what I don’t want my boys to go through.  I don’t want to put them in the middle or make them choose sides.  I won’t talk ill of their dad no matter how I may feel on the inside.  I will develop into the strong woman and mother that I’ve always longed to be. 

I hope that I may help others through my thoughts and words, just as others help me.  Please understand that my life IS NOT perfect and there are challenges I face.  However, I just take it one day at a time, in hopes that the next day will be just as good…if not better.  If you’re going through trials in life, hang in there and be strong.  Remember that there is a God who loves you and that “this too shall pass.”


Shannon (aka The Mommy-Files)

About Has 4152 Posts

Shannon Gurnee is the author of RedheadMom formerly "The Mommy-Files", a national blog with a loyal following. She has a Bachelor's Degree in Marriage, Family, and Human Development with a Minor in Business Management. Shannon and her husband, Frank, have a large family with 6 awesome kids and love living on the Central Coast near San Luis Obispo, California, as well as traveling around the world. A full-time Social Media and Professional Blogger, Shannon also serves as a National Brand Ambassador for many well-known companies. Her blog focuses on motherhood, family fun activities, traveling, fashion, beauty, technology, wedding ideas and recipes while providing professional opinions on products, performances, restaurants, and a variety of businesses.

20 Responses to “My So-Called “Perfect” Life”

  1. You are right!
    This too shall pass.
    God is with you!
    You are a strong strong lady.
    Sorry for your divorce, but hopefully good things will come about AFTER.
    You have a wonderful smile and an AWESOME blog!!!!

  2. The Gosfam says:

    Oh WOW!! You better not lose readers after this post 🙂 You are STRONG and you will make the best life for your little boys. Keep Smilin Girl!!

  3. Krystyn says:

    Hugs, Shannon. I know what you mean. My students always assume I had the best upbringing with the perfect family in the perfect house and that I live in a bubble. I’ve had to correct them on more than one occasion.

  4. Lori Z. says:

    What you’re going through must be really difficult, but I think what your friend meant by “perfect” was that you always seem so positive. You are a great blogger because you always appreciate everything that comes your way, from blog opportunities to just getting funny hang out time with your boys. You have an amazing spirit and “this too shall pass” can get you through a lot.

  5. Shannon,
    I just wanted tell you that you are an amazing woman and are handling yourself during a very difficult time with grace and dignity. You should be very proud of yourself for being an excellent role model for your children.

  6. Wendi P says:

    You are an inspiration Shannon. You always are looking at the bright side. Your boys are blessed to have you as their Mother!!!

  7. Stephanie says:

    Shannon, I’m so sorry to hear about your divorce. It can’t have been an easy decision, and I admire your resolution to keep your boys out of the middle of things. Sending good thoughts your way…

  8. Shannon you didn’t chose this you NEEDED to do this. You are brave, courageous, and strong. I cannot image going through what happened to you! I’m so happy we got to meet and that you opened up and shared your troubles with me. Not only do I have complete respect for you but I admire you and only hope and wish all woman in your shoes would be a brave as you! Remember 🙂 I’m only a phone call away!

  9. Rachel C says:

    Stay strong! I always helps me to think that I’m definitely not the first (or the last) woman to go through any situation that may come my way. We’re all in it together 🙂

  10. You are an amazing person and to have to go through something like this and still be able to take great care of your boys and still maintain a great blog shows that you are an amazing person! I understand what you mean by people thinking you have the perfect life…the grass always seems to look greener on the other side I guess. I have had lots of people over the years comment that I have such a perfect life and I too just want to gasp. I have had so many struggles…sometimes it feels as if I get more than my share, but I’ve learned to focus on the little things and all my blessings and so I have a sunny outlook on life. Hugs to you and know that you have lots of people supporting you and wish you the best!

  11. I’m praying for you!! Praying that you have the strength for you and your kids to pick up and move on, praying that you don’t feel ashamed of being a divorcee, and praying that you are stronger because of it! Your smile is so bright and contagious! Keep smiling!! Remember the strength of prayers. It’s so powerful!

  12. Kayla says:

    What a great post about real life!
    But you are wrong about one thing-You’re already a strong woman! This will just add layers to your strength as a woman and a mother 🙂
    Just keep a positive attitude (which is sometimes really hard to do, I know) and things will be alright!

  13. Karen R says:

    I wish you and the boys all the best. What you choose to post on your blog is your choice. Do what you feel is rigt for you.

  14. You never should have to justify something like this to your readers. Blogging about our lives is only a small portion of what goes on with each of us. So glad that you are getting back on your feet and happy again. You are as brave woman who is doing what you need for yourself and the boys.

  15. Gypsy says:

    Sorry to hear about your divorce. Sometimes we have to make way for new opportunities in our life and we can’t do this by hanging on to something that isn’t working. Stay strong!

  16. Katie Stewart says:

    Wow, I sure hope you don’t lose readers just because you’re going through a divorce. I think that would be horrible. That’s a very personal decision and I sure hope people don’t judge you for it (although I know some will). Thanks for being candid enough to share this personal experience with us readers. It’s true, life is anything but perfect and there is no shame in it.

  17. april says:

    doesnt’ that just kill you if yo uhave a cheery disposition… that people assume you have a perfect life? I’ve been told that too. I’ve done the divorce thing, too (only with 1 child and I was working). I have two friends (both mothers of boys) going through divorces right now. Both are stay at home moms and both are realizing what they need to do for THEM and their children. I’m with you… who wants to air all their “less than perfect life” just for the sake of being 100% transparent. Frankly, everythign isn’t everyone’s business. 🙂

    However… I’ll pray for ya sister. It’s tough…but when you reach that point (as I did… I was the one that filed and wanted out)… you just know. There isn’t any amount of “do over” or reconciliation. You just move on from there and find yourself again…. so, as a mom that’s been there done that… you can do it! Hugs!

  18. I know it was hard for you to write this post as this is a very personal thing you are going through. Know that I am here for you in whatever capacity you need, as always.
    Friendship & hugs, always!! 🙂

  19. Arielle says:

    Thank you for sharing such a personal thing. Never feel like you need to justify your disposition, or your experiences, to anyone. It is very clear through your blog that you are already a strong willed and minded woman. Keep living with love! Thanks 🙂

  20. Shannon I’m so sorry to be an absent friend and didn’t even know what was going on. I’m very sorry to hear about this and being a child of divorce I commend you on the way you’re handling it as you know that is a horrible situation to feel like a tuga-war between parents.

    MUCH LOVE to you my dear and I’m hear anytime!

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