To Spank or To Not Spank

I have a friend who wrote a blog entry on whether or not she should spank her child. When I grew up, my parents spanked me, washed my mouth out with soap, stood me in the corner, grounded me, and made me write standards. You are not “allowed” to do any of these things nowadays because it is considered abusive behavior.

So, how do you discipline your children effectively then? We have just entered the “talking back” stage with my 4 year old. It drives me nuts when people suggest Nanny 911 or Super Nanny. If I have a complete stranger tell my 4 year old not to do something, he obeys. I think it is the same way with Nanny 911 or Super Nanny. Plus, I remember not having kids and thinking I knew everything about parenting. Turns out I didn’t know as much as I thought I knew.

It is especially annoying when a mom is in a public place with her children and people around her have the nerve to give dirty looks or make mean comments. Don’t these people realize it is stressful enough to deal with the child acting up, yet alone to have to deal with the attitudes of those around her?

I have tried the rock jar idea – if your child behaves, he or she gets to put a rock in the jar. Once the jar is filled to a certain point (we drew a line with permanent ink on the jar), then your child or children get to pick a prize out of the treasure box. I also use the time-out method and sometimes I feel like he is always in time-outs.

I’m not sure what else to do. Any suggestions?