Dear Shannon

By Shannon Gosney
In Uncategorized
August 27, 2008

Q: My boyfriend and I are both 50. We have been happily together for seven months, are in love, have decided on exclusivity, and talk about a future together. Thus far, there are many good aspects of our relationship and his character. But when we are at his house, I must sleep with a framed photo on the nightstand of a memorable outing from five years ago. The photo includes his parents, siblings and former serious girlfriend. His hands are all over her.

Though I have mentioned several times that this picture makes me uncomfortable and is inappropriate for the bedroom, he has never removed it. Additionally, there are three huge photo collages in the living room that contain numerous photos of him and his ex-wife, including their wedding photo. They have been divorced for nine years. I can’t sleep, eat or watch TV without looking at his former paramours!

He recently sent me an e-mail that he also sent to at least two former girlfriends. I explained my distress over his continued communications with these women. At least one former girlfriend requested he give her a call. He says he responded that he was too busy to call her. He also did not inform her that he is seriously involved with someone else.

He knows that when we met I was corresponding with an on-and-off boyfriend and also with my ex-husband, but I thought it inappropriate to continue these communications once my relationship with my new man became exclusive and serious.

My boyfriend vehemently disagrees with me on this point and believes I am overreacting, being unreasonable and trying to change his β€œfriendly, open nature.” He says he is totally innocent since he has made me aware of what he is doing. I remain distressed. Can you help me?


So, this wasn’t actually directed to me, but was one of the article posts on, but here’s what I think about it anyways.

I would be TOTALLY annoyed if my husband (or in her case – boyfriend) had pictures of ex-girlfriends and ex-wives “framed” hanging around the house. Talk about making the poor thing uncomfortable. I think that if he doesn’t get rid of the pictures (or at least pack them in boxes), they may need to reevaluate their relationship.

Just my two sense.

About Has 4152 Posts

Shannon Gurnee is the author of RedheadMom formerly "The Mommy-Files", a national blog with a loyal following. She has a Bachelor's Degree in Marriage, Family, and Human Development with a Minor in Business Management. Shannon and her husband, Frank, have a large family with 6 awesome kids and love living on the Central Coast near San Luis Obispo, California, as well as traveling around the world. A full-time Social Media and Professional Blogger, Shannon also serves as a National Brand Ambassador for many well-known companies. Her blog focuses on motherhood, family fun activities, traveling, fashion, beauty, technology, wedding ideas and recipes while providing professional opinions on products, performances, restaurants, and a variety of businesses.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *