The Day My Picture Went Viral…Without My Permission
If you’re online, you may recognize this picture. It’s not just the picture alone though, but rather it’s part of a Tumblr share that went viral and was entitled, “Which White Suburban Mom Are You?” I was classified as Pam, who still shops in the Juniors Section (I wish), always has snacks on the counter (true – and in my purse, too) and who drives a mini van with movie screens (yes, I do drive a mini van, but do not have movie screens because they were too damn expensive). This meme is both degrading and offensive to myself and the other women featured in it. Some of the things that were said about the other women in the meme were terrible and mean and the whole thing in general was unacceptable. What’s even worse is that people are commenting on and classifying themselves into categories of “White Suburban Moms” and sharing it! Really??? Seriously???
As a blogger and active user of social media, I would love to have a picture go viral. However, with that would be credit going to me, right? Not in this case. Not only was my picture stolen, it was put into a meme that people actually think is funny. Guess what? These are REAL women!!! Not just stock images!! I spoke with a few of the bloggers on here and neither of them gave permission to have their photos used either.
As a friend said, “This meme is insulting and it’s using images of women without their permission. These are ACTUAL moms who are a lot more than the single-dimensional punchlines portrayed here. If the creator felt so strongly about making fun of parents, he or she should have leveraged stock photos instead of swiping pics from blogs.” Well said and true to the point!!!
What do you think about this?
Have you had a picture stolen before? What did you do?
[wl_faceted_search]
I’m sorry this happened to you and the other ladies. It’s a good reminder that as bloggers just because we share part of our lives with our readers, that doesn’t mean we relinquish all of our rights to anyone. Permission should always be used! Shame on large viral sites for sharing this without asking for permission or seeking the ownership of those photos out.
I totally agree with you. I’m glad that the site I reached out to edited their post to reflect the moms behind the meme who didn’t even realize their pictures were being used.
But… aren’t women in stock photos real people too?
Yes, but they are models sign waivers, get paid and obviously give permission.
Um, they gave their permission and were paid. Different story.
Signed,
Carol, oh, wait. I mean Jo-Lynne. Yeah, I have a REAL name and a real identity. But it’s not the one portrayed here.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’ve been there… SO not fun. Just last month a photo with my daughter went viral and got turned into a rude meme. I know how to get it taken off FB and instagram immediately if you need help with that. As far as links to buzzfeed, hopefully they’ll get your DMCA request. gah!!! I hate that people think anything online is theirs for the taking. No respect for content creators. It’s infuriating.
Oh wow. That is almost unbelievable in its heinousness. I’m so glad this hasn’t happened to me, but I won’t be surprised if it does one day.
That is absolutely heinous! I cannot believe that was done. It is so rude, and insulting.
Oh that is so vile! Not only did they steal your picture, they also use you in a satire that could have really affected your feeling of self worth.
That’s terrible. People are awful. I’m so sorry hon!
While, I hear that you are sad and that it bothers you– It’s a great reminder that when we put ourselves out on the internet all day every day like we do, then this sort of thing can easily happen.
I’m so.sorry, Shannon.
First, that is a super cute picture of you! Second, yes… I have had images swiped from my blog and instagram and it ticks me off. I have my contact info all over the place. If you ask, I’m probably going to say yes. I thought people learned not to take things that belonged to other back in elementary school, but evidently not.
I think its horrible. A lot of people are mean spirited.
Yes, but it was a photo of my child that was stolen – because of his hair color, he’s used in those creepy roleplay instagram games. SO SCARY.
I didn’t even know this happened to you. That totally stinks that they’re using it in a derogatory mom slamming kind of way. 🙁
Thankfully I have not seen the meme you are referring to, BUT I happen to own that pineapple top you’re wearing in the photo (Kohl’s for the win) and love it. People are always going to judge us. I say let them talk while we continue to live our dreams!
I’m so sorry this happened! A picture of my daughter was taken from my blog and turned into a viral meme. Luckily, it was a kind spirited meme and my daughter (now 17) loves that she’s famous at her school because of the popularity of the meme. We had a good talk about how it could have gone very differently though.
Do you mind if I ask which meme? I like to use memes and I always forget that there are real people behind them, but if its a sweet meme I would be more than happy to share it..
It was light fun calm down. No your picture shouldn’t have been used without permission, but if that’s the worst thing you’ve ever heard/ read you’re living the dream. Degrading is a strong word
Also you look super cute in that photo!
Wow, the nerve of people. It is sad that people do this.
Wow wow wow! That is unbelievable, mean spirited and a copyright violation. People can be so small. Can you file a copyright takedown against the generator of the meme? You certainly can get it pulled off Facebook.
I hate that this happened to you. I hope that whoever did this ends up getting caught and learns something valuable from this experience.
Wow this is so insulting, even illegal. People indeed can be so small
This is hilarious omg. I’m totally either “Pam” or “Helen”. You need to chill out it not like you were PhotoShoped doing something else. I got tumblr and its full of dumbasses dont take it seriously it makes YOU look low.
Jk, jk it really was messed up.
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I’m sorry this happened to you. I can’t imagine scrolling thru Facebook and seeing my pic pop up on a random site.
It was pretty crazy to say the least and even crazier when I had friends, family and my readers messaging me to check on me and see what it was about.
Okay, I’m gonna try and make this as short as possible, but I have a lot of words so let’s see how this goes.
I’m sorry the post was turned into an all out meme. Yeah, I did create it AS a meme, but did I know it was going to become THIS big? Of course not! To be perfectly honest, this thing is kind of driving my nuts. I don’t even think it’s as funny as people think it is. I made this a few months ago at like 4am and just wanted to be apart of the hype train.
This is getting pretty wordy so I’ll try to wrap it up.
Look, I’m sorry you got offended and all, but if you really think about it, it’s not at bad as you may think. People aren’t speaking negativity about the picture in any way, or even at all. They’re just seeing themselves in the few characteristics that I chose. Also, I showed these to my mother, who is a quote unquote “suburban white mom” (have I mentioned that I’m 15? You’re a mom so you should know this; Kids aren’t perfect and will frick up a lot. And when they’re a teenager, they frick up even more. Tis just a thing) and she thought it was hilarious and was not offended at all, and she’s usually pretty tense about things like that.
Would ya look at that, it’s getting wordy again. Okay one last thing before I leave you alone to be with your life.
I read through all of the comments about people being able to get things taken of of Facebook/Instagram, but what I posted this on is a whole other playform. I could take it off of my tumblr if I wanted to (which I won’t for reasons I’ll explain in a few words), but it wouldn’t make a difference. Once something has been reblogged, it’s essentially a copy of the original. If I delete the original, there would still be over 80,000+ copies floating around. So sorry, there is no getting rid of that post
The point is that a photo of ME was stolen and used in a way that I find offensive. It isn’t up to other people to decide if it’s okay or funny or acceptable. This activity is illegal for a reason. I have a right to protect my intellectual property. But as you said, you’re only 15 years old. Perhaps you’ll gain some perspective when you grow up.
Perhaps. And as I said, I’m sorry that you got offended. And if I didn’t mention it in that big block of text, I’ll say it here. I too wish I could get rid of it, but there literally is zero way to erase this post. And besides, this is just a meme. In a few days, or if things get really out of hand weeks, this should all blow over and something else will take it’s place. My advice would just to be either wait it out, or find some twisted way to embrace it. I know you know how internet stuff works, but as today’s youth (who quite frankly are far more educated in the category of all things internet), I think that’s probably the best way to go. Okay. I’m done here. You can continue to be upset if you’d like, but honestly, I can’t really care how you feel considering I don’t know you, nor do you know/can find me. Good day and good bye
Frankly, this is everything that is wrong with the world. No one can apologize and admit that they are wrong anymore. This isn’t about people getting offended or if they have a right to be offended or not. This is about using a picture unlawfully. It is illegal.
Kids need to be taught that is wrong to take pictures from blogs and use them for your own purposes without permission and proper attribution. This should be taught in school along with plagiarism. It is the same thing. It should also be taught at home.
The other thing that kids need to get through their heads is that everything on the Internet is public, and it does get around, whether you think it will or not.
I have a 16-year-old and a 13-year-old, and they were not aware this is wrong either. Now they do. I would hope if they did something like this, they would be able to apologize and not tell grown women who were wronged to get over themselves. It is the height of disrespect.
I appreciate that the meme was relatively harmless and the images were not distorted in any way, but it doesn’t remove the fact that it was wrong to use pictures that don’t belong to you.
And shame on Buzzfeed for not checking their sources before posting it.
BITCH! this doesnt scratch the surface of everything wrong with the world. My friend got rape and beat repeatedly through out her child hood, I am verbally abused, and you, sweet woman, are a suburban mom in a first world country, an american citizen where you have pretty much all the rights as men like working (if you even have a job). This is the kind of thing that pisses me off, youre so conceited that you think that people are going to care so much about you. because no offense, you are pretty much a carbon copy to all the other suburban moms out there, and so am I. Pretty much everybody has somebody like them. nobody knows you and nobody cares. Move on, hun.
Hey Author of the Post-
I love how you claim that you are more educated about how the Internet works than the women who are offended by your misuse of photographs. Your use of the photographs IS illegal, and your boast that we cannot identify you is completely naive. The women in this meme have friends (like me) who work for technology companies. We have the connections, knowledge and the expertise to track you down.
Just admit you made a mistake. You are just a child. Moms understand how naive children are, but don’t compound your mistake with arrogance. When you post obnoxious comments, you transition from being a naive/uninformed child who made a mistake to an intentionally ignorant person who merits real consequences for your actions.
Here’s some free advice to share with your friends:
1) Photographs on the Internet are not all “public domain” as you and your friends claim. Use a stock photography site if you want images, and check the usage terms for those photographs too.
2) You are NOT anonymous either. Someone with even a moderate amount of skill can find your real identity, where you live, where you go to school, your social media accounts, etc. If we weren’t nice people who recognize that you are just a child, you would learn the meaning of the Internet term “dox” the hard way.
I use Tumblr, too. And I, apparently unlike you, know how to use the blogging site while still being respectful of others. You need to grow up and owe up to what you did. Don’t care if you made it when you were night blogging, it was still dumb of you to do.
Children are not as naive as you think, we make mistakes and we learn but the fact that you think you can track down, charge, and make everybody sympathise for a middle aged mom in a meme makes you naive and ignorant. I have nothing against you, or any of you for that matter, I just have an opposing opinion. The tech companys have way bigger things to worry about than a funny, somewhat stale, and forgotten meme. Why can you just let it go. As a 14 year old, it seems as though children have a larger understanding of how the internet works than middle aged women.
Thank god generations are changing from what it was 40 years ago.
also your picture was public domain so they didn’t steal anything
Oh boo hoo! It’s a joke if anything it gave your blog much needed publicity. Get over it and move on!
Haven’t had a picture of mine stolen before, but that’s really terrible to have happen to you. I know another blogger who had a picture of her disabled child stolen and used in a meme that was insulting about the child’s appearance. It was so heartful and I really feel horrible for her and her child. People can be so cruel.
I am very sorry they used your picture in such a rude way. I will never understand why some people feel the need to be blatantly rude.
I am so sorry that this happened. I hope you can locate the person who stole it and press charges. Even then for the person committing the crime will probably get a small slap on the wrist. It’s so sad.
um they are 15… and it was public domain so nothing was stolen;)
I”m not sure if I have a photo stolen. I don’t really keep track. I hope not. I don’t know how I would handle it.
I’m so sorry about what happen to you, that was really insulting.
That’s offensive and degrading! The people who have access to the internet should be more responsible with what they post especially when they’re taking pictures from other websites. That’s really disappointing.
This is definitely not fun and I am sorry that it happened to you. People can get insensitive sometimes. I hope they think first before they post anything.
Oh! My! Goodness! I would be livid. I’m not going to lie, I would have a hard time writing this post because the anger would spill over into my writing. I am so sorry this happened to you 🙁
its public domain so nothing was stolen;)
As I was told my my mother back in 2007 when I was in 7th grade and wanted to make a Facebook account “Anything you post on the Internet is there to stay and anyone can use it.” Now that doesn’t mean it’s right for people to do that but for you to have a blog discussing your life and posting photos of you and your family, you need to be aware that it’s out there for the public. You are posting on the Internet. WORLD WIDE WEB. Don’t post photos or personal information if you are going to get upset when some meme gets made. If you think your photos are that important and you should get credit for them put a watermark on them like a photographer would. It’s pretty strange to me that you are so willing to display that much content about your family and personal life on your blog but then can’t handle people misusing your photos.
Shannon, you may want to look up the Streisand Effect. The shelf life of a meme is a couple months at best but making a THING of it has almost certainly secured its longevity.
Also, you openly share your life and your pictures on your blog, which you have made public. The creator of the meme is well within his or her legal rights to use your photo. Whether we agree with the laws or not, copyright laws do not give owners of work blanket protection. You image, and likewise the images of the other women in the meme, were clearly used in a parodic manner and copyright laws absolutely favor and protect parody.
§ 107 of copyright law, a parody is the “use of some elements of a prior author’s composition to create a new one that, at least in part, comments on that author’s works.”
Not only that, the meme creator has likely neither sought nor received monetary compensation for their work so they are not profiting from your image. Sorry, but under these circumstances you are not protected by copyright law.
My suggestion is to rethink blogging and social media as a whole if you’re uncomfortable with the realities of it.
I reached out to several lawyers, who specialize in this field. Your understanding of the law as it applies to this situation is incorrect. I wouldn’t be surprised if this situation were featured as an example in some legal publications since comments like yours perfectly illustrate the issues with content creation on social media.
None of the women involved are litigious. They aren’t out to “get” the post creator, who is just a teenager who didn’t know better.
BUT it is ridiculous that the post creator hasn’t apologized or removed the original post yet. That’s willful ignorance, which is unjustifiable.
I feel sorry for that. People are really awful. Hope you feel better now.
I’m saddened about some of the offensive comments (left here). (Disclaimer: Not all of the comments are offensive, but some are. And, some people may even find MY comment offensive.) When will any and all of us learn that every single person on earth… regardless of whether or not we participate in illegal activities… has done something that we (myself DEFINITELY included) wish we had not done?!?! We (myself included) often do not stop and think before we speak or act. I’m learning ever so slowly how to balance between 1.) what I say/do really should be my own business and 2.) what I say/do can and does effect other people.
The internet and publishing of pictures and such has some complications and challenges to it. It would be upsetting for this to happen to me. Of course it is certainly not something many of us even think might happen.
This really happens and it’s quite getting scary. This is the reason why I don’t post my pictures or even family photos (specially my kids) online. Hopefully, no further damage is done at your part.
It is just crazy what can happen in this day and age that we have no control over. It is so frustrating that you can no longer just go in to and personally take care of things. It’s all electronic. I’m sorry for all that you have been through.
Sign up for pixsy and let them go after them for compensation. (pixsy will keep half, but it will teach the tumbler person a lesson.)
its public domain so it was legal, hun;)
owned by a 14 yr old. sad sad.
This is so crazy that something like this happened to you. Did they take it down or are they still using it?
We are currently in contact with two large companies about the wrongful use of a picture my husband took. The fact that one of these companies is a large travel magazine is so frustrating because they should no better. If you hold the copyright they are not allow to publish it – so why does it happen so frequently today?
I can not imagine having your photo used like this. It has not happened to anyone i know.
I have never had this happen before. I would be extremely upset if this were to ever happen. I always make sure to watermark my photos with my blog name in case something like this happens. I’m sure somewhere out there they can still steal it and fix it to look like their own. I’m sorry to hear this happened to you.
That’s really upsetting. I’m sorry this happened to you, the internet can be such a cruel place. I’ve had a problem with brands using my photographs of their products without permission or credit. Usually, I give them the benefit of the doubt and say something like “Thanks for sharing my photo!” and they will quickly tag it or give a shout out. Sometimes that doesn’t happen though and it’s sad to think that your hard work is bringing someone else gain. I’m sure you will get through this though, keep your head up! It’s a beautiful photo of you!
So sad to hear about this! Cant believe that people actually do this
Thank goodness you found out about it so you could tell others. It’s so ridic. that boundaries are crossed so easily online.
I’ve always hated memes that clearly have stolen other people’s photos… even when they are of famous people… it still doesn’t seem right.
Some memes can be so especially hurtful.
I am so sorry this happened to you. I hate the excuse that it’s been copied thousands of times and no one can get rid of it. I think tumblr should take responsibility for it and take it down.
I hate that there are people on this post that are making you out to be the bad guy when in fact turning your photo into a stereotypical meme was awful and wrong. I am so sorry that this happened to you!
I cannot imagine how it would feel to have this happen. It is great the site reached out to the other women, but still. It’s like the damage was already done.
That’s crazy and I know how I’d feel if this happened to me. As far as I know I’ve never had a photo stolen except some I uploaded to Photobucket not realizing anyone could download them.
[…] other day, myself and five other moms were tagged in a meme that went viral. The meme was entitled, “Which of These Suburban White Moms Are You?” It was brought to my attention by several family members and friends who contacted me through […]
I’ve never had a picture stolen. I would be highly upset if it were especially making fun of me. I’m sorry this happened to you.
Ughhh so sorry this happened!!! I have never had a picture stolen of me, but when I use to travel all the time before my daughter was born, I would have travel photos stolen of mine and end up on those viral Twitter pages that tweet cool pics -_- would of been nice to at least get the credit for it…..
Ya know what, no. I’m not done. I’m just going to make another post. It’s going to be the exact same thing aswell, only this time, it’s gonna be have even more. You decided to get all pissy about it, and you caused me to have to miss a day of school because I was fucking CRYING MY EYES OUT because I thought a bunch of salty ass white moms were going on a witch hunt searching for me with a bounty oh my head. The only reason I had to go BACK to school that day was because I had an orchestra rehearsal that couldn’t afford to miss. I will continue to repost and repost and repost this supposedly “”oh so offending”” post until you get it through your head that You Can Not Get Rid Of Me. And this time, you won’t be able to use that copyright excuse you used the last time
Hello Anna
I am truly sorry you feel this way and I in no way have caused you so much grief, this was quite a simple thing. You see, a post you made using real people’s images was picked up and seen by almost a million people on Buzzfeed. When this occurred and I found out about it I simply asked that my image not be used. You and many other people seem to not know about images because despite what you think anything on the internet is not free to use by anyone. If that was true any person’s picture could be used for any advertisement on TV, in magazines, on the web and otherwise, as well Tumblr and Buzzfeed would not have removed the original image. You have chosen to not just take the image down and say oops but instead take a stand and make threats, which is of course your choice but really unnecessary. I hope that you take from this experience something other than spite and learn that people on the internet are not just images but instead are real people, with real feelings, real careers, real families, and real voices. I honestly do not fault you for having an opinion or creating the image you created and as I stated it should just be a good opportunity to learn about image use and rights.
One of your defenders up there threatened to dox the poor girl saying anyone can find all her information and she’s lucky no one wants to hurt her. That’s messed up and you should’ve either replied or removed that comment. This girl is also a real person and you’re turning the internet against her because she made a silly meme people thought was funny. You need to grow up, too. You are clearly really enjoying being outraged and getting up on your high horse. Let it go, move on. Be the bigger person.
She did not threaten to hurt her in the comment. Clearly the creator of the meme was hiding behind an Anonymous user name while leaving comments that were actually threatening to me and my family and the misuse of our photos. Quoting her, “I will continue to repost and repost and repost this supposedly “”oh so offending”” post until you get it through your head that You Can Not Get Rid Of Me. And this time, you won’t be able to use that copyright excuse you used the last time.” That is absolutely unacceptable behavior and if it were my child and I found out that he or she did something like that and felt like it was his or her right, I would say something about it and have them correct the situation (i.e. I’m sorry for using your picture. I didn’t know it was wrong. I won’t do it again). As simple as that. Your comment was very rude as well. Maybe you should read my post again because I did not show any indication of enjoying being outraged and certainly do not act like I’m on a high horse. As I stated above, this was a simple issue of someone stealing my photo from my site and using it without permission. Period….end of story. She could have simply removed the image without acting the way she did.
Have you considered that the meme could potentially fall under “fair use”? Protections of fair use include the use of copyrighted material for commentary, criticism, parody, or “transformative” work (though the definition of “transformative” is slippery and is hotly contested in the courts). Fair use also does not require the permission of the copyright holder.
I’m not trying to say that your views are invalid – having one’s picture unwillingly spread around to millions of internet users would make anyone uncomfortable. I just wanted to point out that lack of permission doesn’t always mean copyright infringement. The meme could be considered “transformative” as it included original content as well – it’s not merely a copy of your photo. May or may not hold up in the courts, but the argument is there.
I’m sorry to hear that this happened to you. I don’t know if any of my pictures are stolen, I would be very upset too if my photos be used for anything nasty or degrading.
Wow, that’s insanely rude! I actually haven’t seen the meme before and probably wouldn’t have looked at it for more than 1 second because it sounds really immature. I’m sorry that happened to you, and as far as I know I haven’t been featured in any meme’s before.
I have to say I haven’t seen the meme myself but WOW that is so not nice – I can’t believe some people come up with these things and just take pictures from anywhere. x
Wow… I never even thought about this happening. I am so sorry it happened to you. I would find it offensive if someone stereotyped me. I am happy to see you using it as a way to caution other bloggers about what can happen.
I’m so sorry that happened.. It’s not right and I know of one person who misused a picture and it cost them $7,500. Not fun!
You’ve been memed and what? Does it hurt? Nope. You better call yourself lucky the meme wasn’t about something else.
I agree with you on your pic being stolen by a someone but this someone made a meme, no other use, a meme isn’t owned by any one.
Light up, chill out.
ITT: Suburban White Mom Doesn’t Understand What a Meme Actually Is
This is why all pictures of myself or my daughter especially are watermarked. People think that just because she is in print and internet ads that they can use her pictures without permission. Her agent stopped that real fast!
[…] read one of the mom’s blog posts (http://www.themommy-files.com/2016/04/day-picture-went-viral-without-permission/) — also […]
It’s a little hard to tell if this post is meant to be satire (or not so much…)
I’m not sure I buy that you were surprised that someone shared your photo without your permission. What did you think would happen when you created a blog and shared content on it?
Millennials, for the most part, are all about “ME” and have little regard for the needs and desires of others. Did you really believe everyone who snagged a photo off your blog was going to “ask first”? to many people, the fact that it is on the Internet to begin with is reason enough to pull it from its source and post it somewhere else.
If you want recognition, that’s not so hard to do either. Put your blog’s URL on each of your pics. Sure it might look repetitive in the context of several pics on a single blog entry. But it is what it is. You want credit? Put your name on each pic.
That’s my 2¢ worth… Your mileage may vary.
The internet simply does not care about how the picture affects you or anyone else portrayed/involved. The moment you put any of your information online especially photos, they can and will end up anywhere no matter who you are. Suburban mom jokes are simply what they are; jokes. They make fun of the typical mom who lives in the suburbs, does not have a real job, has a few kids, a husband who pays the bills, avid wine lover, takes the kids to soccer practice, knows nothing about the real world, typically white, etc.. And you might ask why? because it’s an extremely common and unoriginal lifestyle. it’s like a real-life version of desperate housewives and you’re the actors. That’s why your photo has been plastered on a meme with other random women, because it seems you have no identity, you may be common, a stereotype. and you getting offended just adds on to the the joke, suburban moms get offended at everything. The only reason you’re mad is because you are not getting the publicity from the popularity of the meme, you’re not capitalizing off of it so you get “offended”. Why can’t you laugh it off and go on with your life? The only person who recognized it was you in the meme was YOU! your image is safe honey, you’re not a celebrity.And how on earth did I get here? Why, it was a screenshoton social media of your angry rant in regards to the HILARIOUS “Wine Mom” meme graced with your Kohls-shopping mom photo. xoxo
I’m somewhere between Pam and Helen. This is swaying me more to Pam.
You call it “degrading” and “offensive,” yet you check off two of the three “one-dimensional stereotypes” in the meme………
#WhiteSuburbanMomsLivesMatter
P.S. I got a Helen: “You’re the neighborhood association president, and you’re low-key sick of other people’s kids. You’ll fight a bitch.”