Joke of the Day

A Blonde’s  Year in Review 

January  – Took new  scarf back to store because it was too tight. 
February – Fired from pharmacy job for failing to  print labels…..Helllloooo!!!…….bottles  won’t fit in printer!!!
March  – Got  really excited…..finished jigsaw puzzle in 6  months……Box said ‘ 2-4 years!’ 
April  – Trapped on escalator for hours … Power went out!!!
May – Tried to  make Kool-Aid…..wrong instructions….8 cups of  water won’t fit into those little packets!!! 
June – Tried to  go water skiing…….Couldn’t find a lake with a  slope. 
July – Lost  breast stroke swimming competition…….Learned  later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their  arms!!!
August – Got  locked out of my car in rain storm…..Car  swamped because soft-top was open..
September – The capital of California is  ‘C’…..isn’t it??? 
October – Hate  M & M’s…..They are so hard to peel. 
November – Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days  … Instructions  said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!! 
December – Couldn’t  call 911.’Duh’…..there’s no ‘eleven’ button on  the stupid phone!!! 

THE  BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR – SO  FAR 

A  man was in his front yard mowing grass when his  attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the  house and went straight to the mailbox. 
She opened it then slammed  it shut and  stormed back in the house.   

A  little later she came out of her house again went to  the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut  again.. Angrily, back into the house she
went. 

As the man was getting  ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it  closed harder than
ever.
Puzzled by her actions the  man asked her, ‘Is something wrong?’

To which she replied,  ‘There certainly is!’ (Are you  ready? This is a  beauty…) 

‘My stupid computer keeps  saying, ‘YOU’VE GOT  MAIL!’ 

This joke was recommended by one of my readers.  Thank you Angela!!

P.S. Please understand I harbor no ill feelings towards blondes.  I just thought these were really funny. 🙂